Purity rules for dating
The trajectory of lives and eternities are in the balance. Laying out guidelines for dating as followers of Jesus will alter lives by keeping people out of toxic and unhealthy relationships (and ultimately marriages). Here are 10 important principles for Christian dating. That would make God a gambler, and the Bible clearly says gambling is from the devil (only joking). Marriage isn’t as much about finding someone totally compatible as it is about committing to someone despites difficulties and differences. I fear this mentality in the dating culture is actually promoting divorce. Suddenly, when marriage begins, you are asked to flip a switch. It allows you to jump into marriage with a clear conscience.
This issue shapes our young people, friends, and family more than we could ever imagine. “Let’s just sit back and see what happens” might work in certain scenarios, but Christian dating isn’t one of them. The truth is you could spend your life with more than one person. Get to know yourself.” And as soon as the person you are dating smacks his or her gum the wrong way, you are out. I heard don’t have sex before marriage so much I actually believed getting to marriage a virgin was the only important thing. In the process, I filled my heart and mind with lust, and I secretly struggled with pornography. Christians, instead, need to teach the importance of a pure mind. Make sure God is the center of your life before you start dating. Don’t start dating without an assurance of God’s love for you and a solid understanding of the gospel.
But with eating disorders, body image issues, and Photoshopped beauty lies on the rise, a teen girl needs a lot of reminding that her beauty is found inside her heart and not in the mirror. Many teen girls lack what social science calls “refusal skills,” that is the ability to say ‘no’ when temptation arises.
Take time to celebrate her creation story in Psalm 139 where the Bible records that God knit her together. The book of James says that the tongue is a powerful tool, compared to the rudder of a ship which has the ability to move a great vessel.
Teach her to use her tongue to direct her life towards purity by practicing refusal skills.
Simply take time to write a list of top ten comeback lines. While she may or may not use these exact statements, writing this list is a powerful internal marking point that gives her permission to say ‘no’ and confidence to do so.
While it’s great to dream about the future, it should never be in expectation that God has to or will provide a husband.
A girl’s value does not lie in a guy when she’s fourteen or forty. Being in a love relationship with Christ should be.
But among college students who aren’t abstaining…well, they’re having a lot of sex. By the time they leave college men will have an average of 9.7 sexual partners and women will have 7.1.
This fall, my friend Erin Davis and I are bringing you a special livestream Bible study where you and your daughter can dig into these topics together. _________________________________ Sharon Jayson, “More college ‘hookups.’ But more virgins, too.”, USA Today, 3/30/2011.
It is time for Christians to start talking about dating. Establishing principles for Christian dating will set men and women on a course towards Christ-centered marriages. I hope and pray these words spark conversations in your ministries, relationships, and homes. If you need to take a minute to let that sink in, I will be here when you get back… Here’s the deal: marriage isn’t a divine lottery where every person has one winning ticket. Hopefully one will end up as my spouse.” Not a good idea. So, the default for years is to leave as soon as a flaw arises. This requires discipline, restraint, and abstinence from activities that don’t promote holiness. A pure mind might be the greatest gift you can give your future spouse. ____________________ I hope this discussion continues. I pray parents, church leaders, friends, and family begin to spark conversations about God’s design for dating.
A teen girl needs a decided strategy to reduce the risk.
Here are seven secrets to sexual purity that she needs to know. If not by acting out, by the thoughts that we think.