Player mentality dating

They never tell us what did—their role in the saga—or what they are doing about it, other than nursing their wounds and plotting revenge, but focus instead on what’s been done to them and what they wish someone (that someone soon to be revealed as us) would do about it.

They spin a sob story to profess their innocence, confirm their helplessness, and engage our sympathy.

In short, it partly behaves like a Meta Twist and depends significantly on a player's initial expectations. expected) relationship between a player and a game changes, there will be evolution in what a game has to do to qualify for this trope.

This trope is frequently seen in deconstructions but in and of itself, it is not necessarily a deconstruction.

Games won't deceive you, Villains Never Lie (or if they do, it is obvious) and you're the one pulling the strings.

Characters' expectations will be subverted but will not be.

The hook was barbed, and now you’re stuck, because pulling it out will cause you pain—the pain of abandoning a person who depends on you—along with hurting the VP, who, you conveniently forget, got along just fine before you came along. Use of guilt, bullying, and emotional blackmail to gain compliance. You’re having to make uncomfortable tradeoffs, to choose between serving your master and attending to your needs, which seem to pale in comparison to the VPs.

We’ve all heard their sad stories and been sucked into the tragedy and drama. Below are five red flags that will help you determine when a VP is playing you, along with five contrasting traits of true survivors. You’re asked to do a minor favor, something seemingly innocuous and inconsequential that causes you little trouble or expense. Then come the IOUs, which the VP’s strapped circumstances will make you hesitate to cash in on. As you become the VP’s helper, your stature grows to heroic proportions.

Perhaps it’s picking something up on your way home from work, doing some Internet research, or making a quick call. Your reward is now the relief of the VPs anxiety and the feel-good you get from helping someone “in need.” And the cycle is just beginning. You are the knight in shining armor, the dragon-slayer, the indispensable one, and the one who can do no wrong—at least, until you refuse a request.

Often, there is something inappropriate about the request—such as calling in sick to the unfair boss on the VP’s behalf—but whatever it is, it won’t require much effort. Don’t be fooled by the VP’s false worry about how much stress he or she is causing you, how much he or she owes you, the sacrifices you’re starting to make in your own life, or statements that turbo-boost your ego and make you feel superhuman. Pretty soon, you’re doing things for the VP that he or she is perfectly capable of handling—and frankly should be—and you may start to feel used.

The VP is playing out a well-rehearsed dysfunctional pattern, and while you’re being put on a pedestal now, you’re being set up for a big fall. There’s always a reason, an excuse, a mitigating factor that prevents the VP from, say, picking up kids from school or camp, shopping for groceries (you shop, you pay), dealing with family issues or finances, even co-parenting with an ex. The VP has chosen you carefully because you fail to make this distinction.

Eventually, all these tasks and more begin to fall on your capable shoulders. Your involvement deepens to the point that removing yourself—which at times you consider—would devastate the VP, leaving him or her to fend for herself in a cruel world filled with uncaring friends and vicious enemies.

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