Dating after divorce toddlers
You don't have to dive head-first into intense one-on-ones.
"Talk over the phone a lot and go on many dates that are different in type," Jones says.
You’re aware that your decision to date may impact your children and cause problems; however, “It is certainly possible to start new relationships and help your children make the adjustments to the changes,” says Shendi Tuchman, a therapist in San Ramon, California.
Taking steps to reduce problematic responses, resistance and stress will help to minimize the effect on your children. You know your children and are best equipped to know how to handle the situation.
Dating requires a certain amount of vulnerability, tolerance of uncertainty, and willingness to feel a range of emotions in the hopes of making positive new connections and relationships.""You don’t have to enter into a date assuming you’ll get married," says Amy Morin, LCSW, author of .
“When talking with young children, describe the person you are seeing as a friend,” suggests Jean Mc Bride, a licensed marriage and family therapist in northern Colorado. For example, you might tell them that you are going to a movie with a person of the opposite sex. They may also feel threatened and worry that you will have less time for them.
"The mistake I see many people make in this post-divorce relationship is thinking this relationship won't have its own challenges," Jones says.
"Another big mistake is comparing a new person to their ex, or thinking that if they correct the things their previous spouse complained about, then this new person will be happy.
"Whether you feel guilty, nervous, or excited, whatever emotions dating stirs up for you is okay," Morin says. Figuring that out first will save you from wasting time with someone who isn't going to be a good match in the long run.
"Allow yourself to experience a wide range of emotions." It's tough to get out there again, but you're probably doing better than you think, so give yourself a break, too. Remember that it is normal to have wants and needs, and you deserve to be happy." Figure out what you're looking for in a partner. "I'm not a huge fan of online dating, although some sites are better than others," Jones says.