Christy hartman dating a divorced man
I’m very excited to welcome psychologist, author and dating coach Dr. Christie has authored three books, which we’ll be discussing today. Christie Hartman (): Each one had a different reason. Dating the Divorced Man actually came from personal experience. There were so many interesting and complex problems. After a few years of looking into this, reading blogs and talking to people, I realized that this could be a really helpful book. Please tell us about mistake number two, which is, your attitude sucks. Christie Hartman (): That should have been mistake number one. They are things like, some women only want to date tall men. Jasbina Ahluwalia (): For both men and women, it comes down to having an empowering mindset or attitude. You don’t want to feel embarrassed about your manhood. Online dating is a whole different ballgame than what I call conventional dating. There are even fewer that you’re going to connect with.The first book is It’s Not Him, It’s You: The Truth You May Not Want- but Need- to Hear, an insightful and research-based book for single women. It’s Not Him, It’s You is really about women’s top ten dating mistakes. Doing the research that I do, I realized that there are certain things that women struggled with over and over. Some women only want to date men of their ethnicity. You want to be able to identify the problem solver as someone who is going to figure it out versus the complainer who is powerless. Christie Hartman (): I’m a big fan of formulas of any kind with graphs, charts and maps. I tried to come up with something simple that everyone could relate to. You need to find those people by broadening your criteria and changing how you approach all of this. Christie Hartman (): It’s going back to that picky and discriminating thing again.
We and our guests discuss relationships and health and wellness, each of which contributes to meaningful and fulfilling lives. I’m a former practicing lawyer and the Founder of Intersections Match, the only elite national personalized matchmaking company focused on singles of South Asian descent nationwide in the US. That’s fine but a lot of men just want regular dating advice, like advice on how to succeed with women. Jasbina Ahluwalia (): All three books definitely have some unique insights. For the benefit of our female listeners, I’d like to discuss three of the ten. Being picky and focusing on surface characteristics or things that, in the long term don’t really matter, are things that are nice to have but not necessary. If that doesn’t work, I’m going to keep changing how I think about things until I find something that does work.” I encourage men to find the thing that works. If you’ve had bad experiences in the past, you can change that any time with new experiences. They’re embarrassed to be men that admit they love sports, listen to Rush Limbaugh or do manly things. At the same time, it’s also important to be woman friendly. I found your book’s discussion of the illusion of endless options in online dating interesting. I’d love for you to share about that with our audience. Christie Hartman (): This is a huge problem in online dating. They think, “If there are 1,000 women between 30 and 40 who have bachelor’s degrees and they’re all attractive, why can’t I start being pickier about how thin they are or narrowing that age range even more? They have to be women who want two kids, not three.” It’s easy to assume that there are so many options. In reality, when you get online, there are a ton of people on there but there are very few that you’re going to interact with.The second book is Changing Your Game: A Man’s Guide to Success with Women. They only want to date men who make a lot of money or have a certain build. They’re not usually things that are going to make you happy. They are either pointing a finger at others or overgeneralizing. In your book for men, you mention what you term the magic formula. Success with women equals masculinity plus respecting women. Success with women equals masculinity plus respecting women. Jasbina Ahluwalia (): Your book discusses criteria to be less choosy on one hand and then criteria to be choosier about on the other. One thing that men should be less choosy about is age.The third book is Dating the Divorced Man: Sort Through the Baggage to Decide if He’s Right for You. What I try to get women to focus on is how he makes you feel when you’re around him. You’re trying to cover all the bases with that formula. It’s extremely common for men online to aim for women who are younger than themselves. I’ll date her.” A lot of people don’t look to see if that person wants to have children. You can choose that you definitely want kids, you’re not sure or that you definitely don’t.Christie is the author of Changing Your Game: A Man’s Guide to Success with Women & Back In The Game: Succeeding With Women After a Divorce, a dating guide for men who want to shake off their divorces and find love again.Christie also has three books for women: Find The Love of Your Life Online, a must-have guide for every woman navigating the dense jungles of online dating, shares the secrets to avoiding the online dating mistakes most women make. Don’t start questioning him about where the relationship is going. Christie Hartman (): That goes back to what we talked about in chapter two of the previous book. When you’re a man and you want to succeed with women, you can go in with a problem-solving mindset, which is a can-do attitude.